Have you ever felt so horribly awful that you were willing to put your face on just about any cold surface you could find, never mind the amount of germs on said surface? (A few college nights come to mind anyone?) Well…that was me the other day. I’ll be sure to keep you updated on my hepatitis results when they come in.
As I’m finishing out day TEN of this crazy, restrictive, major pain-in-the-ass diet, there is one simple philosophy that has kept me going: Just. Keep. Eating. Even when I’m not hungry, eat anyways. Why? Because if I don’t, I’ll find myself getting the kind of hangry that will eat anything within a 10 mile radius. The kind of hangry that says “Maybe I’ll get to use that epi pen today!” The kind of hangry that doesn’t give a flying you know what about this whole wellness journey. But I do give a whole lot of you know whats about this wellness journey, so I keep eating and eating and eating. I pack enough food for work every day to feed a small village. I actually go through most of it each day too. I guess when you’re eating a diet similar to that of a brachiosaurus, you burn through it all pretty quickly. Okay, to be fair, I can still eat meat, but I try to pack in lots of veggies throughout the workday since they are easy to pack. Things like salad, baby carrots, cucumbers, and an occasional fruit or two. So far, so good right?
Do you know what part of the research I conveniently failed to do though? The side-effects. The downside. The cons list of this whole thing. Maybe that’s a good thing though, cause had I known just how real the “low carb flu” was, I might have reconsidered this whole thing. That lovely little “flu” hit me hard right in the middle of work on day 7. In case you aren’t familiar with the “low carb flu” I’ll give you a super simplified explanation. Essentially, it’s the shitty way you feel when your body is doing this magic metabolic shift from burning carbs and sweets as fuel, to burning fat as fuel. The body always burns carbs first, and if you indulge in the classic (or even relatively healthy like me) American diet, your body is used to burning lots of carbs before it can even get to burning the fats. What does it feel like? Imagine you are an astronaut bouncing around on the moon, then you take your helmet off and your head explodes. That’s pretty much it. You start to feel spaced out. Your head is foggy and can’t think straight, you’re dizzy and feel kind of drunk, and then a massive, out-of-this-world kind of headache hits you. The worst part, I couldn’t take any kind of medicine to help ease it at all, so I just had to suffer through it.
Thankfully, day 8 brought me some relief, and I had an appointment with my doctor to have a full check-up. I caught her up on anything that I could actually explain, and she asked me a million questions. She didn’t have any concrete answers for me, although I didn’t expect her to. She put me on a daily anti-histamine to hopefully keep me off of a steroid long enough to be able to have more allergy testing done, and ordered the nurse to take 8 tubes of blood from me to test me for everything under the sun. I should be getting the results back within the next few days, so I’ll update more on that another time.
Do you know what else happens to your body when you’re going through this magic metabolic shift? You are basically empty of energy. The “experts” from all the articles I googled on the subject even advised that you should probably avoid any major physical activity (i.e. exercise) when going through it. Part of my wellness journey includes staying active though, and I finally had the opportunity to get back to one of my favorite yoga classes this weekend! There was no way that I was going to miss it. I’m sure when you think of yoga, you think of all things calming, and zen and stuff, right? Well, this class isn’t exactly your typical yoga. It’s called Chakti Yoga, better described as “twerking yoga” and it kicks my ass big time every time I go. So here I was, 9 days into a gigantic diet overhaul, nursing my slightly improved “flu” and going to twerk my little heart out. The class is an hour long, and it’s intense from start to finish. The massive amount of body heat even fogs up the mirrors in the room. I managed to make it through 30 minutes before I felt as if one more hip thrust would send vomit flying all over everyone’s chakras. I made my way to the bathroom just outside of class, and feeling as though I was going to pass out, puke, die, or a combination of the three, I hovered over the sink desperately trying to feel better. This is the part where all fucks left my body, I wiped off the counter with a paper towel, and laid my face on it. That ice cold counter was the only thing that was going to make me feel better in that moment, and the diseases that might be on it were the furthest thing from my mind. It’s better than the toilet seat, right? I returned to class about 8 minutes later (after my friend made sure I still had a pulse) and kept myself in child’s pose until they got to the calming part at the end of class. I think I’ll go back to Chakti when I can eat a sandwich again.
Although it’s been a little bit of a struggle this week, I’m proud of myself for completing 10 full days of this already. I don’t generally have a lot of willpower when it comes to eating, and honestly thought this would be harder than it has been. Aside from the “flu” it’s been okay. I’ve found some really yummy things to eat, and picked up some habits that I’ll keep even after I start reintroducing foods back into my diet. I can still eat bacon, and I’ve discovered a love for sweet potatoes. I really could use a donut though.
Here’s a new favorite you are sure to love. Who doesn’t love maple syrup and bacon?