Truth be told, this isn’t what I had planned on writing about first for my “new blog.” However, a sweet friend of mine asked me a question yesterday, and my brain drove me crazy last night thinking of all of the things I have to say on the subject.
“How do you find love on Tinder?”
How do you find love on Tinder?
You know what? I don’t know.
I know what you’re saying to yourself right now, “But Courtney, YOU found love on Tinder!” Well, you’re right. I did, but I can’t promise that Tinder is where you will find your other half. Could you find him on a dating app? Sure! Although, you could also find him at the gas station, or waiting for his to-go order of Moo Goo Gai Pan at the local Chinese restaurant you frequent, or even while you are desperately searching for the least bruised apple in the bin at the Piggly Wiggly. But, I don’t know how you find love on Tinder.
You know what I do know though? I know that finding love starts with you.
Yes. The single most important factor in you finding your other half is YOU.
You can spend all the time you want on these dating apps, swiping left and right on each face you see, but until you have really worked on yourself, he’s not going to magically appear.
What do your single girl friends complain about most about the dating scene?
“They are all the same!”
“There aren’t any good ones left!”
“All I seem to attract are the ____________*!”
*Insert assholes, douchebags, jerks, fuckboys, etc. here*
That’s all you attract because that’s what you are willing to accept. For the love of donuts honey, start valuing yourself more! Once you choose to stop putting up with bullshit, you will stop finding it. That’s not to say that some of those little weasels aren’t going to scamper across your path here and there, but you will have the ability to walk away from them when you know what you are truly worth. Stop accepting “love” that doesn’t deserve you.
Quit giving a breath to these men who only want to waste your time. Quit letting them slide into your DMs, or call you up telling you that they have changed. Quit going back to an ex who has shown you time and time again that you are NOT important. Why do you want a man who makes it clear he doesn’t want you? Please stop breaking your own heart by letting these men use that revolving door. Shut the door and start valuing yourself more than that.
One of the most influential pieces of advice I was ever given was the saying “The better person you become, the better you will attract.” I cannot shout this loud enough.
How do you do that? Start living life for yourself. Work on finding things you enjoy. Try new things that are scary. Like maybe yoga! Even though there’s a strong possibility you might totally fart while doing downward dog, and never ever be able to show your face there again. There are yoga studios on just about every corner now. You can always find another. Take a cooking class, go for a hike, start drinking craft beer cause it’s so totally in right now (and amazing might I add,) join the gym, or start a blog. Live your life for you.
You will be surprised what starts happening once you start truly enjoying your life. That little thing called self-love will creep up on you. Make that your new best friend. You will be surprised at the caliber of people you start to attract, and how easy it is to walk away from those things that aren’t meant for you.
Enjoy your life for you. Live your life for you. Work on yourself for you.
I promise that when you finally find him, you will be so thankful that you did.
You know what? Your other half is out there working on himself too.
For anyone who needed to hear it. (Even if you’re a guy, cause sometimes guys need to hear this too.)
Don’t forget to take it with a grain of salt, because what do I know?